Random Movie Review - Keith Lemon: The Film

Ladies and gentlemen. I give you the worst film I have ever seen in my entire life. I mean it is just bad. So bad that I'm just glad it never was released out of the UK. Yeah, that bad people. That bad. For those of you who don't know, Leigh Francis is a well known British comedian who has done stand-up, hosted shows like Celebrity Juice and shows with a lemon theme going on as well as starring in Bo' Selecta! He's known for his campiness style and crude and adult humor, but more importantly by his stage name Keith Lemon (yes people, that is not his real name. Look him up). This was actually the film that kind of started off the down fall of British films based on TV personalities and shows which is why films like Horrid Henry and The Harry Hill Movie look more like made for TV films than films you would go and see at the cinema (though Horrid Henry came before this film and is based on a book, but still). It is just so bad and its not one of those "so bad, its good" films. Its just bad all together and can pretty much sum up how bad most of the shows seen on ITV (its a UK channel. Look it up) are. I mean its just horrible. Let's have a look at it, shall we:

So this film's plot surrounds Francis's rags to riches story. Keith Lemon is an entrepreneur in Leeds who is trying to secure investment in his invention, the Securipole (some kind of metal pole used to prevent theft). He goes to some kind of inventor's convention to pitch the idea to investors but fails in the process. As such he then tries to do all he can to get money which eventually leads to him recieving a phone from a fellow entrepreneur at said convention and then seeking help from an advice guru called Archimedes (played by mini me, Verne Troyer). He then tries to pitch an idea on a show hosted by David Hasslehoff and after a first failed attempt, he then puts a lemon sweet on the phone and instantly becomes rich overnight and then its basically rise and fall from there.

I cannot begin to say how bad this film is. I mean it is the worst film I've ever seen. Its hard to review a bad comedy when you have jokes that aren't funny. The story is bad, the acting is bad, the crude jokes are bad, just everything about this film is bad and it just sums up how bad most of the stuff on ITV is. Its just hurendeous and what's more is that there is talk about a sequel and I'm thinking for a film that everyone hates, just why? And because I hate this film so much, it gets the rare score of 0/10. That bad people, that bad.